"My sense of morality is keeping me from something I typically enjoy..."

A question and an answer on a Sunday.

The Q&A comeback continues. Questions are submitted by paid subscribers. (These folks are awesome and allow me to treat this like a job.) Kathleen shared the following in the chat a couple days ago:

“Lately I’ve been feeling like my sense of morality is keeping me from something I typically enjoy. Specifically, I like to play disc golf but there’s a lot of toxic stuff happening within the professional side of the sport that I’m having a hard time separating from my experience playing it. The Professional Disc Golf Association and the Disc Golf Pro Tour changed their rules this year, banning transgender women from competing in the women’s division. A transgender player filed a lawsuit against them, which is still ongoing. It’s bringing out a ton of transphobia and bigotry and hatred within the entire disc golf community. I’m not naive—I know there are bad apples in every sport, hobby, and group, but how do you find a balance? I don’t want them to ruin my good time, but I also don’t want to be lumped in with them. How can I be confident in my beliefs and also let things go?”

***

Hi Kathleen.

Thanks so much for your question. I’ve been thinking a lot about it because I can definitely relate. I grew up on the coast in Central Florida. Surfing has been part of my life since I was a kid. Prior to starting TWLOHA, I spent eight years working in the surf industry. I have a lot of relationships throughout the surfing community.

While the World Surf League (highest level of professional surfing) has taken an inclusive stance regarding the possibility of transgender surfers competing, it sounds like the resulting conversation among athletes and fans is the same as what you’re seeing in Disc Golf. The debate, the transphobia and bigotry and dehumanization, it’s happening in Surfing as well. I ended up wrestling with questions very close to the ones you’re asking now. How do I keep doing something I’ve always loved when it suddenly feels complicated and tarnished? Am I still proud to be a surfer? What does the surfing community even mean? Do I have a place in it? Where should my focus be?

Here’s where I landed. I hope some of this helps: