IYFTM10: The Sales Rep Years
E-Mail to Mom, To Whisper Against This, Zeke Sanders: You Were Loved
You are invited to join me Thursday (July 10) for a special event celebrating the 10-Year Anniversary of If You Feel Too Much. Starting at 8pm ET, I’ll read a few of my favorite stories from the book, take a couple requests, and share some thoughts looking back from the perspective of a decade down the road. We’ll close things out with Q&A. If you’re not able to be there Thursday evening, the good news is that this event will be recorded. When you purchase a ticket, you will receive a Zoom (webinar) link before the event and a link to the recording after.
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In the previous post, I touched on everything that comes before the 44 stories that make up If You Feel Too Much—Dedication, Note from Jon Foreman, Foreword, and Introduction. Today’s post covers the first three stories (or pieces) in the book, which were written all the way back in 2005 and 2006, at the end of my sales rep years. In recent weeks, as I’ve started to think and write about the IYFTM anniversary, I’ve been digging the phrase a decade down the road. While it’s been 10 years since my book came out, what we’re revisiting today was actually written 20 years ago.
E-Mail to Mom
I just finished Rob Bell’s audiobook, A Feisty & Sobering Guide to Doing What You Love & (Also) (Still) (Somehow) Paying the Bills, which I appreciated so much and cannot recommend enough. One of the things Rob talks about in the book is loving e-mail. This made me smile because realizing that I loved sending emails was how I began to fall in love with writing. These weren’t emails that I needed to write for work. These were emails that I simply wanted to write, to people in my life. I like that IYFTM opens with an e-mail and I love that it was written for my mom. I continue to be thankful for her and for our relationship.
i hope i didn’t make you sad. i’m really okay. i think i’m just being super honest with myself, admitting what i see when i look at my life.
Wow. It’s safe to say I still relate. Those words could have been written a few months ago. I still don’t want my mom to worry. I still want her to believe that I’m okay. And I’m still trying to be honest, both with myself and with the people who love me, about what I see when I look at my life. The last year has delivered lots of change. I’ve gone from being single to being in a relationship. I’ve gone from living in Melbourne Beach, where I grew up, to living in Orlando, because my girlfriend lives here. Connection is important to me, not only with Christina but also with my friends and with my family. I would like to really know them. And I want them to know me.
Writing would be cool. My friend Gord says if i write, i will probably need to speak, and i think with some discipline, i could do that. i know it’s in me to connect with people… i might have to go see some things and say some things…
It’s certainly interesting to read these words so many years later, now through the lens of how life has unfolded. This email to my mom was written in 2005, which means a year later I ended up writing a story that changed my life. I got to write and publish a book that ended up on the New York Times Best Sellers list. I’ve had the privilege of being invited to speak at events in all 50 states. And at the same time, as much as I am thankful for everything I just mentioned, I can still relate to feeling lost. I’m still trying to figure out my work and my life and where I belong. I’m still trying to be honest with myself.
The #1 thing i want you to remember is that i love you.
Those words are still true.
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To Whisper Against This
This is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. And I like knowing it’s the product of a story that I lived. After Hurricane Katrina, I was moved by what I saw on my television screen, moved enough to fly to Houston and convince someone from the Red Cross to let me walk into the Astrodome, just to sit with people. That is not a normal thing. And yet it happened and it’s an experience I’ll forever cherish, both in the living and the telling.
Juxtaposition is the word coming to mind. I saw so many things of contrast side-by-side inside that dome. Nearly two decades have passed and I’m still proud of this piece. I’m glad I got to share it, glad it can continue to be shared.
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Zeke Sanders: You Were Loved
Zeke and I worked together at Hurley. I remember getting the news in the middle of a sales meeting in California. We were told that Zeke had died and that his death had been suicide. We were then given a 30-minute break from the meeting and I remember going outside to the parking lot. In some ways it’s like I never went back in after the break. I didn’t know how to go back to work. I can still recall the feeling of really wanting to respond, wanting to honor Zeke in some way.
This happened in January of 2006. I would meet Renee Yohe one month later in Orlando.
Once again, the If You Feel Too Much 10-Year Anniversary event is coming up on Thursday (7/10). You can learn more and grab a ticket here.
If you’re interested in supporting my work, whether that looks like a speaking event, one-on-one coaching session, or small-group conversation, please visit JamieTworkowski.com.
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