"Do you still honestly believe that we were meant to live?"
Part One: Storage units as time capsules, crying in the green room, and a bummer right big toe.
Join me for All You Need Is Water, a workshop based on everything I’ve learned about public speaking (and writing too). This online event, open to all levels of experience and limited to 11 people, is happening Friday, May 31 + Saturday, June 1. Learn more.
Another long quiet and for that I do apologize.
There was the situation of the infected in-grown toenail, which today is less infected although also unresolved. I have an appointment for a procedure (aka outpatient surgery) but it’s still a month away. (When I first called back in April, they said the earliest would be July.) Sister Emily suggested removing not only the toenail but my entire right big toe, if the pain and patience prove too much. She offered to handle this minor amputation herself, which of course is very kind, but considering Em’s lack of medical training, I’ve decided to hold off. For now each day’s routine involves a mix of epsom salt and Dr. Scholl’s. Sometimes I even rock a toe cap.
There was the cleaning of the storage unit—yes, even with the bummer toe—a strange and dusty space I hadn’t touched in years. Time’s passing, an embarrassment for lack of use and total cost, also gave the work an air of mystery. This solo mission, simply emptying at first, was reframed as the unearthing of a capsule. I found posters from TWLOHA’s early days and photographs from decades before that. There was a lot of junk as well—shout-out to Danny Wheatley for letting me borrow his dumpster, and Mark Codgen for his Dodge Ram—but boxes holding any possibility of nostalgia were moved to my garage. I might have to do another post to show you all the highlights, once I finish going through everything. Here’s a little taste:
There was the trip to Arizona for the speaking event, thanks to Steven Hykes, who is a subscriber in these parts. I had the honor of sharing with teachers and staff from nine different schools across Phoenix and Tucson. Getting invited to talk about mental health, suicide prevention, relationships, and self-care—these opportunities continue to mean a lot to me.
It felt really good being back on the road. If you’re interested in making a speaking event happen, Collective Speakers would love to help. (We can do virtual events too. Gracie prefers virtual.)
The event was super special but the highlight of this Phoenix trip was dinner with my cousin Sarah, her husband Chris, and their awesome kiddo Dean. They took me to Pizzeria Bianco and it did not disappoint. I enjoyed the food but the people at the table stole the show. We talked for hours and laughed a ton, even long after the meal. We ended up just wandering downtown, one of those nights where the conversation becomes the destination, where connection is the point.
There was the driving back to Orlando the day after I got home, to see my friend Jon Foreman, who I’ve had the privilege of knowing for the past 25 years, and who I cannot say enough good things about. Jon is love personified—warm and thoughtful, generous and kind. He is as encouraging and inspiring as they come, truly the real deal both on and off a stage.
If you would have wandered into the green room 10 minutes before set time, you would not have found Jon doing vocal warm-ups. Instead you would have found me crying, doing my best to give an honest update to a longtime trusted friend. You would have found Jon listening, locked in and asking questions, believing better things. He is the kind of friend I just can’t fake it with. (The same thing happened with Noah Gundersen a month or so ago. What is it with musicians?)
A new song of Jon’s had stood out on the drive over, and it’s been with me ever since. The song, called Eulogy, starts off with these words:
“In my rearview mirror dreams
I see myself staring back as a kid
Asking whether I believe in all those songs the same way I did
He says, "Now you've got a wife and kids
And the scars that life alone can give
Do you still honestly believe that we were meant to live?”
***
Part Two is coming soon.
Eulogy by Jon Foreman
Cutting Thru The Country by Medium Build
Quitter by Brother Bird
Scandalized by Cold War Kids
Florida!!! by Taylor Swift (feat. Florence + The Machine)
Good Thing Going On by Mat Kearney
Death Valley Honeymoon by Dustin Kensrue (feat. Cat Clyde)
Treasure in the West by Dustin Kensrue
Everywhere I Go by Wild Rivers
You Should Probably Leave by Chris Stapleton
I Propose A Toast by Jon Foreman
Fish by Angie McMahon
Last Night On Earth by U2
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? by Taylor Swift
Reaching the Potential by A Silent Film
Can’t Be Cool Forever by Medium Build
Mountains Of My Mind by Chris Stapleton
Between the Bars by Elliott Smith
All My Friends by Noah Gundersen
Stick Around by Night Traveler
Don’t Tell The Boys by Petey
Persevere (MTV Unplugged) by Gang of Youths
Upcoming small-group conversation: I will be hosting Disappointment & Acceptance for the first time this coming Thursday, May 23. Let’s talk about making peace with the past present.
I’m fired up about coaching and consulting, excited to prioritize this in the weeks and months ahead. If working together interests you, whether it’s one-on-one talking through challenges you’re facing, or on a bigger scale with your non-profit, business, or brand, please feel free to reach out.
Right?!? Eulogy was SUCH a gut punch reality check.
Jennifer Knapp just rerecorded her album Kansas too. The gift of revisiting formative lyrics with through current lenses is so... bittersweet.
OMG, your sister cracks me up. Thank you for writing.